Shattered
by River Laren
Summary: Ilana is the one people look to for hope, and she always has to hold herself together for them. But when a close friend like Octus dies, even the strong Princess of Galiluna shatters.


**A/N: This was out before the new episode, honest! I just couldn't find Sym-Bionic Titian on the cartoon list. Anyway, this is a short little one-shot I wrote about Ilana dealing with the loss of Octus. In this 'world' I assume Octus will not come back. I like him just as much as you do, but I'll let CN decide how to bring him back. Plus, it just fits with the storyline. So R&R! Injoy!**

***Disclamer: I do not own Sym-Bionic Titian***

He was here again. Lance had very bad timing about when to suddenly appear. Ilana slammed her locker shut and forced the tears back, again. She refused to let him see her cry more than he already had.

"You okay?" he asked for the millionth time. Ilana watched the students of Sherman High swarm the exits. To them it was a typical Tuesday afternoon; to her and Lance it was their second day of school without Newton.

After the memorial service she had arranged for her 'dad' and 'brother', Ilana had wanted to go back to school right away; thinking that if they went back to their normal lives they would heal faster. Lance and the social-worker had insisted otherwise, saying that they should take time to heal before coming back to school. Lance still didn't think they should be here, he claimed it was for her safety; but after a week of doing nothing but moping around the house, Ilana had finally talked Lance into trying it.

"Yeah," she said quietly, "I'm fine. Are you ready to go home now?"

Lance raised an eyebrow. "Ilana, you know we can't go back to Galiluna. Not since Newton-" he broke off as he saw the tears rush back into her eyes.

The words hurt Ilana deeply. She missed Octus because he had been a close friend; but she was beginning to realized that without him they could not form Titian, and without Titian they couldn't go back to Galiluna, even if they survived Earth.

"I wasn't talking about _that_ home," Ilana mumbled.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess so." Lance looked away when she tried to meet his eyes.

They walked slowly out the door together to the parking lot. Lance led the way to his white car; it wasn't much to look at, but Lance was still proud of it. _He built it with Octus,_ Ilana remembered. She felt the tears threaten again as she opened the car door and slid in the passenger's seat. Lance got in and started the engine. The ride home began in complete silence. Everything now was black and white, lifeless and dull. Ilana saw nothing as she stared out the window. The world that had once been so full of life and color was now a big blurry mess.

"How was your day?" she asked just to break the smothering silence.

"Fine," Lance replied in a monotone.

"That's good. In history we learned about Earth's Medieval Age. It was very interesting…." She trailed off when she noticed Lance didn't seem to be listening. She really wasn't as happy about it as she sounded, but someone had to stay semi-cheerful.

Lance pulled into the driveway and switched off the ignition. They got out of the car and Ilana walked forward and inserted her key in the lock. Lance had talked Solomon into pulling some strings so they could stay in the house alone. It wasn't the ideal situation, but no one could find out they had been part of Titian. Ilana opened the door and watched Lance make a bee-line for the kitchen. He immediately buried his head in the fridge.

"I'm going upstairs to work on my homework," Ilana called over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs. She barely heard Lance's assenting grunt that came from the depths of their fridge. Ilana opened her bedroom door and tossed her book bag on the floor. Suddenly her eyes fell on the door to Newton's room. _No one would care if I slipped in and sat on his bed for a minute. Lance won't know, so it won't bother him_, she thought.

Ilana eased her door closed and quietly tip-toed into Octus' room. The tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she leaned back against the cool wall beside the door. The wrapping paper was still scattered around the room. It was left there from just before he died, when they had surprised him for his birthday. The slippers she had given him were still where he had left them, and the birthday cake still sat uneaten on his desk next to the letter he had been writing Kimie. Ilana couldn't bear to move them, and Lance hadn't touched them either.

The door opened and Ilana looked up to see Lance standing in the doorway. His eyes suddenly widened just the same as hers did. He saw the tears streaming down her face; she recognized it in his eyes.

"I can't believe he's really gone," the sob stuck in her throat made her voice quiver. The tears came more intensively after that.

"I know," Lance murmured, obviously uncomfortable with her tears.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, swiping furiously at her eyes. "….it's just..."

"Don't worry about it," Lance murmured.

"It's all my fault, Lance. If I had stopped him, he wouldn't have went back and gotten killed by the creature."

"No, Ilana. It is _not_ your fault. Don't even think that. Octus made his own decision, he knew all the consequences. I….if the rope hadn't…it shouldn't have happened."

Ilana sobbed harder. "I could have stopped him though."

Lance didn't reply, he just embraced her tightly. Ilana went ridged with shock, but after a moment she relaxed. She trusted Lance more than anyone except her father or Newton. So there in Lance's arms the strong princess of Galiluna shattered into pieces.


End file.
